Thursday, May 20, 2021
Monday, August 27, 2012
I guess technically today should be Day 5 Post Op. I am a dork.
Weight: 306
Blood Sugar: 132
The other night I dreamed that I was in a grocery store type setting, eating donut holes. But I distinctly remember that I wasn't eating them for the sweet factor, but for the crunch factor. They were covered in hard sugar crystals and I kept picking the crystals for the crunch and not eating the donuts. Also, I dreamed that I bought a super large paint canvas and one color of paint. I propped the canvas on a stack of stuff at the front of the store and started to paint with this one color. I was quickly finished and it was an abstract view of a sunset. It was totally beautiful. I carried out to my car, put it in the back and the canvas slid down and ruined the painting. Crazy.
I am REALLY wanting something of substance. The broth and jello were fun for a while, but it is getting really old really fast! But I learned a valuable lesson. I had been looking for broth that tasted like the broth you get in Ramen noodles. I bought organic fancy stuff and it tasted blah. It was okay, but not very inspiring. I then bought some cheap, off-brand broth and it was exactly what I was looking for. I wish I had figured that out earlier. Tomorrow should be the last day, though. Wednesday should be the start of full liquids. Gracious, I hope so.
Weight: 306
Blood Sugar: 132
The other night I dreamed that I was in a grocery store type setting, eating donut holes. But I distinctly remember that I wasn't eating them for the sweet factor, but for the crunch factor. They were covered in hard sugar crystals and I kept picking the crystals for the crunch and not eating the donuts. Also, I dreamed that I bought a super large paint canvas and one color of paint. I propped the canvas on a stack of stuff at the front of the store and started to paint with this one color. I was quickly finished and it was an abstract view of a sunset. It was totally beautiful. I carried out to my car, put it in the back and the canvas slid down and ruined the painting. Crazy.
I am REALLY wanting something of substance. The broth and jello were fun for a while, but it is getting really old really fast! But I learned a valuable lesson. I had been looking for broth that tasted like the broth you get in Ramen noodles. I bought organic fancy stuff and it tasted blah. It was okay, but not very inspiring. I then bought some cheap, off-brand broth and it was exactly what I was looking for. I wish I had figured that out earlier. Tomorrow should be the last day, though. Wednesday should be the start of full liquids. Gracious, I hope so.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Day 5 Post Op
Weight 311.6 (fully clothed, past has not been)
Blood Sugar: 141 (why?)
It surprises me just how I tired I still get 5 days out...then I remember I am only consuming clear liquids...I have no carbs in my cells to give me energy. Hm. I also figure the children's Tylenol has sugar which spiked my B.Sugar. Crap.
I really have to stop thinking in terms of food. I am never going to be able to binge like I once did. No 4 pack of muffins dripping in butter in one sitting. Probably not even 1 muffin in one sitting...especially the big ones. Life is not about food. It can't be. Look where it got me. I am sitting here with 5 (and a half) holes in my belly and broth warming on the stove, instead of a burger and fries. I have GOT to change my thinking about food and what it means and how it fits into my life. It sucks. Full stop. But I have got to change my mindset. Eat to live, not live to eat.
G.
Weight 311.6 (fully clothed, past has not been)
Blood Sugar: 141 (why?)
It surprises me just how I tired I still get 5 days out...then I remember I am only consuming clear liquids...I have no carbs in my cells to give me energy. Hm. I also figure the children's Tylenol has sugar which spiked my B.Sugar. Crap.
I really have to stop thinking in terms of food. I am never going to be able to binge like I once did. No 4 pack of muffins dripping in butter in one sitting. Probably not even 1 muffin in one sitting...especially the big ones. Life is not about food. It can't be. Look where it got me. I am sitting here with 5 (and a half) holes in my belly and broth warming on the stove, instead of a burger and fries. I have GOT to change my thinking about food and what it means and how it fits into my life. It sucks. Full stop. But I have got to change my mindset. Eat to live, not live to eat.
G.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
addendum...
The question is thus: What do I want more, all the benefits that come with losing weight, i.e. health, shopping, plane/cruise ship bed comfort or do I want to eat what I want, when I want. Its never been about what I look like...but its totally about me getting what I want. I was no means a spoiled child, but maybe I have become a spoiled adult. Living alone for so long has given me carte blanche to do what I want. That is the master question, isn't it?
The question is thus: What do I want more, all the benefits that come with losing weight, i.e. health, shopping, plane/cruise ship bed comfort or do I want to eat what I want, when I want. Its never been about what I look like...but its totally about me getting what I want. I was no means a spoiled child, but maybe I have become a spoiled adult. Living alone for so long has given me carte blanche to do what I want. That is the master question, isn't it?
Day 4 post-op
Weight: 312
Blood Sugar: 113
Sleeping last night in bed was a nice change to Mom's recliner. Only woke up a couple of times when I moved and it hurt. I am concerned with my thinking a little. Food commercials are distracting me and bringing up food urges which I am afraid will derail me down the line. I have yet to want to "cheat" on the liquid diet, which is a plus for me. Cheating has always been such a part of my diet M.O. Definitely something I will need to keep an eye on.
Things I have learned today:
- Green liquid Tylenol tastes like an old boot wrapped in mint.
- Mixing veg. broth and beef broth with splash of Worcestershire sauce is pretty good.
- It's okay to not put myself in situations where food is 'traditionally' (read State Fair) a priority when attending. Not going is okay too. I have to take care of me FIRST, not second or third. I may miss some laughs in the short term, but I am ensuring I have time for laughs later.
G.
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